The Effects of THC
by MobBob
Summary: One-Shot: Peggy, Angie, and Dottie share a joint together.


When Peggy got to Angie's apartment, she noticed that the door was open. She still knocked out of politeness. "Angie, it's me Peggy."

"Come in English," said Angie.

Peggy went in and closed the door behind her. She turned to Angie, who was sitting on her couch, fiddling with something on her coffee table. In front of her was a piece of white paper, with a green herb on it. Angie was rolling the green herb into a cigarette. Peggy cleared her throat. "Angie, is that what I think it is?"

"Do you think it's a cigarette?" said Angie. "Because that's what it is."

"And what's in that cigarette?" said Peggy. "It's not tobacco."

"Something a friend of mine got me. She said this was called a joint." Angie held up the joint. "Hey, do you have a light? I've got one, but I don't feel like getting up."

"No," said Peggy. "I don't smoke."

"Really?" Angie got up and went over to her dresser and pulled out a drawer that had her lighter. "Like never?"

"No, I've never smoked," said Peggy. "Angie, you're not going to smoke that?"

"Why not?" said Angie.

"Because it's illegal," said Peggy. "What if someone catches you?"

"Relax," said Angie. "The door's closed and I've opened the window, so no one should smell it. You're not gonna tell the cops on me?"

"No, of course not," said Peggy. "But-"

"Good." Angie lit the joint and put it in her mouth. She took a deep breath and breathed out a thick cloud of smoke. Peggy got a whiff of the smoke and waved her hand to waft it away. She was used to the smell of tobacco, but this wasn't tobacco. Angie looked up at Peggy. "Hey, do you want to try?"

"What?" said Peggy.

Angie held up the joint to Peggy. "Yeah, do want to try? I can't really finish this by myself."

"No, I don't think I want to," said Peggy.

"Have you tried this stuff before?" said Angie.

"No," said Peggy.

"Well it's just like smoking," said Angie.

"I've never smoked," said Peggy.

"You haven't?" said Angie. "Like never?"

"No," said Peggy.

"Wow," said Angie. "What'd you do after school then?"

"Breaking into my father's liquor cabinet," said Peggy.

"I'm guessing your father didn't have any smokes lying around then," said Angie.

"He did," said Peggy. "I just didn't take them."

"Well, here's your chance to try it out," said Angie.

"No," said Peggy. "I don't want to risk Mrs. Fry catching us."

"Huh," said Angie. "I guess I misjudged you then."

"Misjudged?" said Peggy.

Angie put the joint down on her coffee table. "Yeah, I'd always pegged you as this self-assured don't care about the rules kind of gal."

Peggy raised an eyebrow. "You did?"

"I once caught you sneaking back in, looking like you'd just gotten out of a rumble," said Angie. "Did you think Mrs. Fry would be happy with that?"

"That was different," said Peggy. "I was being careful."

"I'll be careful," said Angie.

Peggy rolled her eyes and took the joint. "Fine."

Angie watched intently as Peggy took a puff from the joint. Peggy then coughed out a cloud of smoke. "So, how do you feel?"

"Funny," said Peggy. "The good kind of funny."

Peggy sat down on the couch and the two passed the joint back and forth between themselves, Angie telling Peggy about her struggles as an actress. "So I get this part playing a waitress."

"That should be a hard part for you," said Peggy.

"I know," said Angie. "Anyways, I think I have two lines, 'And what will you be having this evening' and 'That's an excellent choice'. And I put my all into it. Like I spend hours going over the lines, thinking about how I'd say that, and all that stuff. And you know what? I do a better job with those two lines than the lead does with the entire script."

Peggy laughed.

"I'm not kidding. Here's how they say their lines." Angie adopted the most monotone voice she could. "'I'll have the sirloin'. That's exactly how they sounded."

Peggy continued to laugh. "Now I've got to see this play, if only to hear that delivery."

"I'll get you some tickets then." Just then, they heard a knock at the door. "Oh god! Here hide this!"

Angie handed Peggy the joint. "Where do I hide it?"

"I don't know, just think of something." Angie got up and opened the door. Dottie was standing outside. Angie put on the widest smile she could. "Hey Dottie."

"Hey, I just wanted to ask Peggy something," said Dottie. "Where you doing something?"

"No," said Angie.

"Nothing at all." Peggy hid the joint her back, which would have worked if it wasn't for the smoke.

"Were you two smoking?" said Dottie with the most aghast voice Peggy had ever heard.

"Shhh! Do you want the whole floor to hear?" Angie shepherded Dottie into the room, closing the door behind her.

Dottie looked horrified. "Bu...bu...but I thought Mrs. Fry didn't let people smoke?"

"She doesn't," said Angie. "That's why you can't tell anyone."

"I...I don't know," said Dottie. "I can't just lie. It's not in my nature."

"Sure you can," said Angie.

"I can't," said Dottie. "I get so nervous just thinking about lying. Look at my hands. They're already sweating."

Peggy handed Dottie the joint. "Here, try this."

Soon all three of them were sitting on Angie's couch, passing the joint around. Dottie seemed especially affected by the smoke. "Wow. I've never done this before."

"What, did they not have this back in Iowa?" Angie handed the joint to Peggy.

"I'm not from Iowa." Dottie froze as the words came out from her mouth.

"Where are you from then?" said Peggy.

Dottie looked nervous. "I don't know why I said that."

"Yeah, this stuff will do that to you," said Angie. "It really makes you honest."

"It does?" said Dottie.

"Oh yeah," said Angie. "I remember this one guy smoked a whole bunch of this. Next thing he knew, he was confessing to the preacher about how he was stealing the communion wine."

Peggy was suddenly overcome with a feeling of dread. She wish she'd known about that before she'd accepted the joint. Now she was desperately trying to stop herself from spilling her guts. She looked at Dottie, who looked like she was going to explode. What secret was she holding back? Did she murder a family? Rob a bank when she was little? Steal Angie's sweater?

Angie turned to Peggy. Peggy was sweating. Did Angie plan for this? Was she trying to spy on the SSR? "English, are you okay? You don't look so-"

Peggy jumped off the coach. "Okay, I confess. I'm a spy."

"What?" said Angie.

"I work for an agency called the SSR," said Peggy. "It stands for strategic science...I can't recall the name right now."

"Okay, I think you've had enough of this." Angie took the joint and handed it to Dottie.

Dottie jumped off the coach also. "I'm actually a Russian spy."

"Okay, I think you've had enough of this too." Angie put the joint on her coffee table.

Dottie continued babbling. "I'm supposed to infiltrate the SSR, and then we'll gas the city, and...and I stole Peggy's lipstick."

Peggy charged at Dottie, and with all her might, she slapped Dottie's arm. "Ow!"

Dottie slapped Peggy's arm. "Ow! I didn't hit you that hard."

Peggy slapped Dottie again and Dottie retaliated. The two continued slapping each other lethargically, with Angie watching the action. Eventually, Dottie got tired and passed out on the coach. Peggy stood over her triumphantly. Angie extinguished the joint. "I think I've had enough of this."

Peggy rushed outside. "English, what are you doing?"

"I need to use the phone," said Peggy. "I've got to tell my superiors about this."

Peggy left, but came back quickly. "What's wrong?"

"I forgot what they're number is," said Peggy. "Do you know what it is?"


End file.
